Monday, September 26, 2005

In an effort to curb the steadily increasing velocity of the “poverty avalanche” that seems to be pervading our financial livelihood, at the moment, I am attempting to procure part-time work in the evenings. In layman’s terms, “We’s broke and we needs sum muney. We ain’t got enuf vittles, ya’ll.”

With that said, the prospective places I’ve applied at have yet to contact me regarding the applications I’ve turned in…but that’s not to say they won’t. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself. Things aren’t exactly just peachy in the old pocketbook and time is quickly running out before people start pulling the plugs on things until we can grease their palms with some greenbacks.

Ain’t life just grand? *sigh* At any rate, let’s move on to brighter things. If you’d like to check out a really odd and somewhat freaky site… direct your browser over to http://www.99rooms.com . It helps to have a broadband connection and you’ll need to have Flash installed on your system to view the rooms. It’s darkly intriguing to me…and seems to go along with my hum-drum mood at times. Apparently there is no equivalent to OSHA in Germany that might prevent local web-heads and artists from journeying through old, abandoned industrial sites and turning them into strangely disturbing art galleries. Enjoy.

Recent Intellectual Illuminations:

1) I’ve developed an odd addiction to Mountain Dew: Pitch Black II…don’t ask me why. Is my eye supposed to twitch like this? (kidding)

2) A SuperSoaker water gun will sufficiently motivate a household cat to leave the sanctuary of a cubby hole beneath the neighbor’s front porch. This was necessitated by the fact that the cat in question is:
a) female
b) in heat
c) an escapee from the confines of our house.
Needless to say, the cat was neither happy to be caught, nor thrilled about the rather moist methods I
used just prior to its capture.

3) Small, plastic, fishing-lure-like worm toys that my child loves to throw about…will adhere to painted walls and will leave small, dark, greasy stains when removed. Ask me how I know. They also stick nicely to blown ceilings.

4) Many restaurants openly advertise that they serve ONLY Pepsi products at the soda fountain, yet most offer Dr.Pepper. Dr.Pepper is, and has always been, owned and bottled by Coca-Cola. Is Dr.Pepper untouchable?

It’s time to rest and ponder on these matters. More later.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

I seem to find myself grasping for what to write, now. There are some events that have occurred, recently, which I don’t believe need to be aired to the public. So, in respect of the people’s feelings I have already unintentionally mutilated, I won’t discuss them in this blog. I can at least show some respect and common decency in this small way.

With that said, I will attempt to turn my attention on other matters. I wonder, sometimes, why it seems to be that there is a direct, perpetual and disproportionate imbalance between the amount of money I make and the bills that I have to pay? It always strikes me as bitter irony that no matter how much I bring home, I’m never the recipient of my paycheck. I’m merely the courier.

Now, I’ll relate a somewhat bittersweet experience I had. I rescued a butterfly yesterday. I’m sure, to some, I seem like the least likely person to extend a helping hand to one of nature’s daintiest creatures. However, as I was getting into my truck yesterday evening, I spied a butterfly struggling across the scorching pavement of the parking lot where I work. I started to shut the door of my truck and just worry about what I needed to do. But, for some reason, I just couldn’t turn a blind eye to this poor creature’s struggle.

I got out and went around to see what the problem was with the little fella. Certain species of butterflies have two wings on each side of their body, a forward wing and rear wing. This poor butterfly was missing one of its forward wings, entirely. It seemed dazed and desperate to escape the scorching surface of the parking lot… so I reached down and let it crawl onto my finger. Knowing that it couldn’t fly in its current condition, I realized that its hours were numbered. With no way to go from flower to flower, its already brief life had been unfairly shortened by this injury. I decided to be kind to this poor victim of fate, and let him (or her) ride with me on my errands. For storytelling purposes, let’s consider “it” a “him”.

It’s rare to see a live butterfly riding “shotgun” in a vehicle. It’s even rarer for a butterfly to travel anywhere at 65mph. For a short time, my little friend was Hemi-powered…cruising through the city in which I live in air-conditioned and shaded comfort. Slowly opening and closing its wings, my new co-pilot seemed content to be my guest as we went from one place to another. I never left him for very long, and was always pleased to find him waiting patiently for me when I returned to the vehicle.

My friend rode with me until I finally reached home, and clung to my finger as I introduced him to my wife. She was as taken with the beauty of its remaining wings as I was. As I set out the supper that I’d purchased for her and I, she examined my little friend. We agreed that there was little she or I could do aside from placing our winged guest on the nearest flowering bush and wishing it well. So, I placed him outside on a nearby bush, carefully. I said goodnight as its damaged wings slowly opened and closed, and went back inside. I don’t know the fate of my co-pilot now… but I hope, in some small way, that I helped ease its suffering. I dedicate this small and strange entry to my friend… the Hemi-Powered Butterfly. Rest well, my friend.

More later.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Note: This entry has subject matter that is psychologically deep and not necessarily linear in construction. It is not intended to indicate an analysis of any person or particular situation. It is merely a "venting" necessitated by an over-abundance of stress in my life. If you make any sense of this, you have my sincerest and most humble sympathy. Apparently you're as far gone as me.

There are times in my life when I wonder, truly, if I am my own worst enemy. It seems that I am the greatest single source of my own misery due to my blatant disregard for possible outcomes to decisions I make. I try to reason out the various outcomes that could result from a decision. Perhaps it’s a feeble attempt at not only self-preservation, but also the preservation of the ones around me that I consider very dear to my heart. Invariably, regardless of my thoughts on the outcome, I tend to let my emotions and my instinct guide my choices. It’s rather ironic that I inwardly chastise people who cast their fate to the wind and are reckless with their actions and lives, yet I seem to do that very thing each and every day with the choices I make.

Sometimes I’m lucky and walk away unscathed by potentially crippling ramifications. Other times, I’m figuratively driven into the ground on my chin by the things that come to pass as a direct result of my choices. Perhaps this is common to many people. Perhaps I only “feel” as if I’m an isolated case. Odds are that this is not something rare, but no matter. I live within this body and mind and I deal with the feelings and the actions and the reactions to what choices I make.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a common feeling or not. Realizing that others deal with this does not comfort me as I deal with it. It merely causes me to be saddened for others who apparently go through what I do, at times. Ultimately, I must come to grips with the results of my indiscretions and hasty decisions. Ultimately, I must rise to the challenge of what I have wrought with my own two hands and do my best to care for those caught up in the malestrom of my actions.

A dull and sickening ache seems to always pervade my being and gnaw at my soul. I don’t think there is any recourse I can ever enact that will drive this from me. Many of you, at this point, might very well be asking yourself, “Has this man gone utterly mad? Has he gone so deep within himself, trying to find some sort of reasoning for his own foolishness that he’s lost a grip on the reality of life? Has he failed to come to grips with the undeniable fact that no man is truly in control of his own destiny and circumstances?”

I’ve wondered about my sanity in the midst of the endless circling my life tends to make. Strange loops of complacency and monotony seem to pervade my existence, wearing deeper and deeper grooves in the surface of my consciousness. But, I think this comes about as a result of my own need for a constant “routine” and fear of change. When things change, then the comfort of familiar aspects in my life are torn away. I find myself unsure… uncertain… hesitant of what to do next.

I seem to keep finding myself boomeranging, if you will, back to the same crossroads I always come to. Which path to take? Which destiny will be mine? How will I cope with the negative ramifications of my decision, regardless of which path I take? I cannot see beyond the horizon of my destiny… merely the paths leading off into the distance and the choices left upon the post before me. At this point, I tend to step back and think… “Both decisions will hold negative effects. This is one of the certainties of life. Merely take one path and hope for the best”.

I also seem to have a knack for following in the gene-laden habits of my forefathers when it comes to emotional issues and behaviors. Be it good, bad, or simply quirky and unique… it seems to have an inherited pattern to it. This pattern has gotten me laughs, love, and a lot of expressions that seem to silently say “So, Jason, how long HAVE you been eating paint chips?” Regardless, I seem doomed to follow not only in the positive of my ancestors but also in the negative. This worries me when it comes to my two boys. So much negative has already been thrust upon them in their short years here on this Earth.

I’m certainly no shining example of perfect fatherhood and no model husband. But I do try to encourage them and steer them along the proper and responsible pathway through life, even tho there seems to be an inhereted “butting of the heads” when it comes to obedience in the face of what they’d rather do. As I’ve mentioned to my parents on occasion… I never knew the proverbial “Paying for your Raising” statement included accrued interest. ~lol~ Ah, laughter. That felt good.

Well, before I suck up all the bandwidth on the server with this single post, I’ll take a break and resurface to the land of the living. I have nicer things to worry about on the surface… like having more bills than money. More later.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Goooooodmorning boys and girls. It’s time for yet another daily life report from “yours truly”. My sister is headed back down to Louisiana to join my brother-in-law at their apartment. I’ve seen some pictures of the place that he’s emailed to the family. While there is a bit of damage to the structure, it’s not that severe.

Most of the actual damage was inflicted upon the surrounding pine trees. Some of these did damage to other homes in the area, but I’m glad that they’re not having to extract a tree from their bedroom. Their jobs are still secure and their landlord has asked for their assistance in getting things back in working order. The guy is really nice and helpful, I’m told, so I’m sure everything will be back to 100% as soon as possible. My folks are taking her down there today… so I should have some reports from them either tonight or tomorrow on the condition of things when they arrive.

There are plans to do some ATV riding with friends this weekend. That’s always fun, but it would be so much more fun to get my own. One step at a time, I suppose. As it stands right now, I’m looking for some part-time work to help supplement the existing budget. I need to make sure I don’t let my hunger for a new toy outweigh my common sense when it comes to financial obligations, I suppose. That wouldn’t be good.

But, at any rate, there will be some job-hunting going on this weekend, and (as I mentioned in the last post) a visit to the Arctic Cat dealership. If any of you are interested in taking a peek at the rigs I’m trying to decide between… here’s a link to each one…

2006 Yamaha Kodiak 400 4x4 Automatic – http://www.yamaha-motor.com/outdoor/products/modelhome/51/0/home.aspx

2005 Arctic Cat 400 4x4 Automatic VP – http://www.arcticcat.com/atvs/lineups/specs.asp?y=94&c=95&s=102&m=631

Both are pretty, both look tough, and both have good reviews. But, if I don’t get a loan app to be approved, I ain’t getting either one… *sigh*

((NOTICE)) – I have discovered why those of you who read my blog are having difficulty in posting comments to my entries if you’re not a “registered user” of Blogger. Apparently it has something to do with the option I inadvertently selected in the Comments Setup section that disabled readers’ ability to leave comments if they weren’t registered users. Now, I’m no rocket scientist here… but switching that option back on MIGHT just solve the problem. (rolls eyes) I’m sorry about that, folks. But, afterall, I am… a redneck.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

I know I’ve been neglecting my daily literary responsibilities on the blog, and I do apologize to all of my adoring (albeit invisible and mute) fans for my selfish indiscretion. I will attempt to remedy the aforementioned situation with a witty and somewhat truncated entry for today. I say truncated because I have approximately 7 minutes until I get to carry my redneck ass to the house for a beer. And that, boys and girls, is something that Mr. Jason could use right about now.

To make this short and sweet… I continue to be afflicted with ATV FEVER and in an attempt to quell this burning passion for my own mud-slinging, dirt tossing, water crossing, mechanized trail beast…. I’m going to visit the local Arctic Cat dealership this weekend. I have already heard the praises of Yamaha’s being sung to me by one friend. Now I hear the praises of the Arctic Cat being announced by not only my father-in-law, but also by my brother-in-law. Ultimately, I have researched both machines of interest. I have read user reviews concerning the performance, reliability, comfort and abilities of both…and I like both quads.

I think the determining factor(s) will end up being…

a) the credit approval amount

~and/or~

b) the package deal for the money.

Well… it’s now 4 minutes past when I’m supposed to leave. So, guess what. I’M OUTTA HERE!!! I’ll add more useless commentary tomorrow at some point.

Yall have fun now…bye.

Friday, September 09, 2005

I once again find myself at a Friday. The weekend is just ahead and many things are floating around inside this little screwed up head of mine. I will attempt to toss a few out onto this “virtual paper”, as it were, and hopefully unclutter myself.

My sister and brother-in-law are still doing fine. They’re applying for federal aid under the provisions set forth by the government for survivors of Katrina. Who knows what sort of damage might exist at their apartment back in Louisiana. They’ve only recently been able to contact their employers down there. New Orleans is still nothing but a stagnating, disease-ridden, filthy cess pool of decay and pollution at this point. It’s a horrible thing to see a city with such a lengthy history and culture reduced to nothing more than a sad shamble of its former self.

Patriot Day (9/11) is coming up on Sunday. Each generation, it seems, contends with its own set of national tragedies. I don’t know how many years I will live on this earth, but I’ve seen a few tragedies already that should never have come to pass. The shuttle Challenger explosion, The Branch Davidian Compound, The Oklahoma Bombing, Columbine, The unsuccessful World Trade Center Bombing attempt, (then much later, the actual horrific events of 9/11/2001) and now the devistation of Hurricane Katrina.

Well, on a positive note… I’m going to a huge barbeque with my inlaws on Sunday. Everything’s free, so at least there’ll be some good food this weekend. I’m also planning on washing my truck, which I enjoy doing. Here’s a pic of my 2004 Dodge Ram 1500 with the 5.7L Hemi engine. 345 horses… and they’re all snortin mad. ~grin~

"Ya'll have a great weekend!"

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

In an effort to break away from convention, I will begin this entry without the word "Well". It seems that at least 4 out of my last 5 entries began with "Well". While not grammatically incorrect, it does tend to place me in somewhat of a linquistic "rut", if you will.

At any rate, here's today's entry; As for the reference to item "M" from the previous post, things turned out just fine. In fact, they turned out amazingly well. I'll leave it at that. In other news, my youngest son will begin his soccer practice tonight at 6pm. I'm looking forward to watching both boys develop their skills and enjoy what they like doing.

While I'm not much of an "organized sports" fan, myself... my wife has always been into that sort of thing. It seems odd to me, in light of the majority of people in the world being fans of sports, that I never fell into the whole fanatical lot of them. I like MOTORSPORTS... If it has an engine and a driver, I'll watch it. It seems to be an amazing challenge, to me, to be strapped into a highly-sophisticated and powerful vehicle...with only your skills, your bravery and luck on your side...and make the machine perform to it's maximum potential against all sorts of odds. Everything else just involves a bunch of people playing with their balls. ~grin~

That's all for now.... as always, more later.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Well, I haven't had much to post since the last entry. So, henceforth, there hasn't been anything to read. Since I find myself up late tonight and feeling tired, but not sleepy, here's some items of thought.

Nascar update (for those of you who might give a rats ass about it...*lol*)
=====================================================================
September 4, 2005 – California Speedway: Kahne didn’t manage to score a top-10 position in qualifying, but he did secure a 6th place finish after a hard charge through the pack toward the latter part of the race. Pit times weren’t stellar and that, I believe, was a major contributing factor to his repeated struggle to regain positions after each stop. While mathematically disqualified from the “Chase To The Cup”, Richmond Speedway was his forte’ earlier in the season… perhaps he can pull out another win this coming weekend. I’ll be watching as always.
=====================================================================

Let's see... Oh, I got some iron-on transfer printer paper today ($5.00 per pack of 3 sheets...sheesh!!!) for creating custom t-shirts. So far, I've botched the first design... because I didn't iron one corner enough and it frizzed out while I was peeling the transfer backing off. Oh well, I figure you have to have an error on the first one to know what not to do. *lol*

I'll use that one for a "beat around the house" trial shirt. My 2nd attempt came out well, and I'm wearing it. I made a shirt for my youngest boy tonight and will be making shirts for both my wife and oldest boy tomorrow. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day....so it doesn't really make sense that I'm up late.

Then again, I rarely make sense. Yes, I admit that....I'm male, and that gives me as much right to make no sense as being a woman gives them the right to change their minds 10,000 times for no reason.

Anyway... here's my To-Do-List for tomorrow, which is subject to change at any moment due to time constraints, child difficulties, traffic, weather, my mood, and the price of tea in China....

A) Breakfast for kiddos
B) Take kids to Walmart to pick up supplies to change the oil in my dear wife's Jeep.
C) Return and perform oil change while kids play
D) Gather washing supplies and have kids help me clean both vehicles while wife is at friend's house.
E) Make sure kids have lunch somewhere in the midst of soap-n-water storm.
F) Take out trash
G) Tidy up living room
H) Swap load or two of clothes out
I) Change catbox (must remember this..must remember this...)
J) Supervise the "Reluctantly Cooperative Efforts" of my children to tidy their rooms to a level at least somewhat akin to sanitary before their mother comes home and begins to announce to the world her discontent with the current condition of their living areas. That is something I could do without.
K) Help a friend out and wash their FORD... Yes, FORD...vehicle, and apply a window decal. Anyone who knows me, knows that this would normally not even be a possibility with me. However, citing the fact that I care deeply for this person and shall overlook the "blue oval" in my driveway in order to do this favor... I hope they will appreciate it.
L) Take a shower and get cleaned up for supper.
M) Try out an experiment and hope that it's not my undoing....
N) Attempt to rest adequately before the work-week begins.

And... I shall write more later.... possibly about the results of item "M"... but hopefully not. Having to list the results would probably not be a good thing. Suffice it to say, I hope there are no severe complications to this experiment. It could be quite irreversably humiliating and dibilitating. However...it could come off without a hitch. Hrmm...perhaps I shouldn't have worded it exactly that way. *sigh* I'm sure all will be fine....at least I keep telling myself that.

Again...more later.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Well, here it is the first day of September in the year of our Lord, two thousand and five. Gas prices have now risen as high as $3.08 per gallon of regular-unleaded now. I may have to park my 345bhp 5.7L Hemi powered Dodge Ram 1500....and begin riding a bicycle. This is sheer insanity.

I'm about to wrap up my work day and head home to a piece of chocolate cake. Then I'm going to take my oldest son to his football practice. Simple pleasures...but pleasures nonetheless. I wish I had some beer....dammit.

Day 7 - Smoke Free

Not much to report today. It's a rather uneventful Thursday. More later.