Well, believe it or not, I’m back. Astounding, I know. But, I felt compelled to vent a bit of frustration at the animation studios, today. It all stems from a brief discussion I had with a fellow worker, this morning. We somehow got onto the topic of childrens’ shows and how they’ve become too adult in nature.

It seems to be a widespread viewpoint within the animation industry that children shouldn’t be treated like children these days. There are all sorts of grotesque references to bodily excretions, crude sexually oriented humor, and foul language that pops up here and there… in CHILDRENS shows! I’ve even seen references to such methodology hidden within the hallowed halls of Disney, itself! Walt would no doubt stand up out of his grave and take a 9-iron to the staff at his beloved organization if he could.

The inherent problem lies in modern society’s obvious distaste for innocense. It seems almost like an effort to instill a “magical” belief in the fairy-tale world of a child’s imagination anymore. Society wants to gut any belief in make-believe characters, traditional figures and a child’s right to BE a child, anymore. The faster they can discredit such notions and push children toward adulthood…the better they like it.

They degrade once humrous cartoons that people took with an unattached sense of humor, and have chopped them to pieces for the sake of Political Correctness. And, without missing a beat, will broadcast a cartoon where a child makes reference to eating dog feces. Yes, I’ve actually seen it myself. And today’s kids are soaking up this televised mess! Sexual inuendos, ebonic urban lingo, an almost unilateral saturation of rap & hip-hop themed music, and crude subject content are what makes a cartoon these days?? Give me Johnny Quest, Speedracer, Looney Tunes, Scooby Doo, Transformers, Gi Joe and Garfield. That is…if they haven’t butchered them into a mangled mess of PC crap, as well.

It’s truly a terrible thing to rape the innocence away from our young generations for the sake of intollerance of its mere existance. Children should be allowed to be children. They shouldn’t be thought of as merely a “grown-up-in-training”. Stop ripping away the cover on reality at a younger and younger age. They have the rest of their lives to witness the cruel reality that we all must endure. At least have the human decency to let them have a time of wonder and happiness. It may very well be the only thing that allows them to cling to sanity later in life. It’s been consistently proven that an unstable, unhappy, violent or neglectful experience as a child tends to lead the individual to similarly associated behavior, later on in life. Conversely, I’ve yet to see a single person ever arrested or jailed for dropping an anvil on another human being like Wile E. Coyote… just to see if they’ll walk off, sounding like an accordian. Give kids credit for some common sense. They sometimes exhibit more intelligence than those in mass media do.

Y'all be good… more later.

Greetings patient ones! Yes, believe it or not… I have, at long last, returned to entertain the masses with my somewhat skewed sense of humor. You may be asking yourself what has taken me so long to work up enough ire over a topic to post my annoyance about it in this beloved blog.

Well, suffice it to say that there have been several recent events that have taken place which have diminished my disgruntlement to a degree. Now, don’t mistake a lapse of entries for a negation of my tendencies. I’m still the same analytically opinionated person I’ve always been. But the events in question have been very hard to work through. I won’t expound on them here for sake of time and space. But suffice it to say that they shook my world to its very foundation. Well, without further adieu, I will introduce you to an experience that has somewhat confounded me to one degree or another. It’s not necessarily all bad… but it does tend to make me, and possibly will make several of you, go “huh?”.

A few years ago, some acquaintances of mine recommended an online gaming system to me, knowing how computer-based I tend to be. Now, I’m no genius or computer hacker by any means. But, I do enjoy a bit of escapism from the perpetually dim reality I seem to be faced with on a daily basis. Sometimes I can take the escape instinct a bit far. But, then again, so do several other people. So, while fundamentally it may still be wrong… I gain a small bit of comfort from the fact that it seems to be a widespread issue, and not just one that I indulge exclusively.

The online gaming system is one that millions have subscribed to, for one reason or another. Some, for simple entertainment. Some, for the pursuit of romantic endeavors (however odd this may seem). And still others seek financial rewards for manipulating the system, as is done with almost any medium whereby actual money can change hands.

The gaming system I’m referring to, of course, is Second Life. Several of you may already know about it. Some may actually be fellow players. Others may have only heard about it, or may have no idea what it is.

Second Life is a worldwide phenomenon, to date. It is a three-dimensional world, created online, in which you can make a playable character (or “avatar”) that you use to interact with objects and other avatars in this world. You can shape them, clothe them and color them to your liking. Many tend to recreate themselves in the Second Life world, adding clothing and objects that they may or may not already own. Some participate in role-playing scenarios, while others tend to gravitate toward musical or social venues to interact with many other users.

Quite literally, the sky is the limit. Because there are any number of things you can “buy” or build inside this world. If you can think of it, it can be made or bought. And most of what you can think of already exists there. There are several obvious differences between real life, and the gaming system of Second Life. Firstly, the ability to fly is exclusive to Second Life. Not with an airplane or rocket… but as in Superman flying. Another is the ability to quickly transfer to various distant locales by merely “teleporting”. There are other differences, but let’s cut to the chase here.

As I mentioned a moment ago, I was a member of Second Life a year or two ago. Well, due to the limitations of both the Second Life system and my computer… I abandoned the game. At one point, as either the direct result of one of Second Life’s “updates” or a computer virus… I lost my entire C:\ drive. I had all but abandoned the notion of returning to Second Life (SL) due to these prior issues, but I was recently assured of the fact that things had vastly improved since my last unfortunate and irritating experience with it. Reluctantly, I agreed to come back and experience the “new” SL.

After approximately a month of visitation, I can assure you that things have vastly improved… but certain problems tend to persist. Unless you are running a top-end PC with copious amounts of RAM, processor speed, graphics capabilities and and DSL (or better) connection… your experience with SL may be lackluster, at best. The game tends to have lags, where objects and every person in it jerk about and move slowly. It’s somewhat akin to having a minor epileptic seizure during game play.

This, I assume, is primarily due to communications difficulties between individual PC’s and the main server. Though server issues have, indeed, contributed to some of the lag sessions witnessed by hundreds. In the past week, alone, my character has inexplicably floated through ceilings while jumping… sunken into the earth up to his nose, only to pop back up on his feet like a whack-a-mole game… and go into aggravating (yet somewhat humorous) jerking fits.

If this weren’t enough to contend with, all in the name of entertainment, then the next thing I tell you about may make you question my sanity even further. Some of you, who have a very full schedule of events…people…lifestyle choices…and drama to stomach in your FIRST life may wonder why I’m even going to expound on this. You would be justified to suggest that the problems with this system already warrant a decision to leave it be. Well, never let it be said that I’m not the most stubborn and tenacious person you’ve ever met. I’m still there.

But, here’s the meat of the whole issue. So sit back and enjoy (if you haven’t already fallen asleep by now). I am a member of a role-playing group within Second Life. The theme of the role-play is set as an 1800’s era western town. There are time-authentic three-dimensional buildings, wanted posters, train tracks, saloons, brothels, bandits, sheriffs, cowboys and flapper girls. There are six-shooters, rifles, horses and the whole lot. It is a veritable cornucopia of authenticism (as far as a computerized 3D world can get, I suppose). But, recently, some matters of absurdity have given rise to what I can only call… blind modernism.

Several, if not the majority, of the fellow players make certain that their avatars are dressed in time-period clothing. Cowboy hats, gun belts, etc. But there is a group of somewhat deviant people that live their lives (real lives) in the peculiar delusion that they are somehow part animal. Now stick with me here, because we’re about to plummet off the cliff of level headed thinking. These animal-fetish people are commonly called “furies”. Imagine, if you will, a person who dresses in what amounts to a sports mascot suit (squirrel, bunny, fox, etc) and parades around at “furry” venues to socialize with other fellow furies. Yes, the practice does exist. As odd as this may seem… it gets worse. Now, they’ve taken the…uhm, “lifestyle”…into Second Life.

If gays weren’t enough of a political equality issue, now the furies want to lift a hand…or paw, as the case may be. It’s to the degree that owners of certain areas of Second Life have taken to the view of siding with their “rights” to play in these role-playing adventures…as furry avatars. Yes, you’re getting the picture now. We’re talking about places where there may be 100’s of regular human avatars milling about…and 5-foot tall squirrels and bunnies milling there with them. Now, I’m not openly judgmental of individual likes and dislikes. I have my opinions and beliefs (much to the surprise of my readers, I’m sure). But, I tend to respect peoples’ rights to do as they wish…as long as it isn’t harming others or detracting from someone else’s rights.

However, this issue isn’t about basic rights. This issue is about continuity of theme. Recently, there was a user-wide notice sent out to everyone who participates in this “old west” role-play group. In it was a seriously toned decree that all furies, which wish to play in the scenarios, will be allowed to play AS furies in said scenarios, for the sake of avoiding discrimination. Ah yes, the great evil… discrimination. Unmitigated avoidance of it places untalented hacks in with professionals, the tone-deaf in with great musicians and buffoons in with intellectually competent individuals. Let’s all just mingle.

So… what we have now, kiddies, is a posse of 12 men…all on horseback…guns loaded…hats tipped down in the dusty western sun…ready to pursue the bandits that just robbed the store. Well… 12 men and one 5’ tall rabbit named Mr. Bucky. I’m quite certain that John Wayne, facing the request for an actor to accompany him on screen in a bunny costume for a serious movie scene, would have probably shot the bunny and broken the kneecaps of any objecting persons around him. I can’t, in good conscience, role-play out a scene of any seriousness whilst a boob in a squirrel outfit and cowboy hat tries to participate in the conversation. It’s annoying…absurd….comical, at best.

Honestly, people… am I alone in my view that role-play ought to involve a decidedly common theme? Am I to assume that those of you who have played cowboy-and-indian, as children, ever accepted the guy down the street who wanted to play…as a spaceman?

Injun-Joe and Sheriff Pete never had to contend with Spaceman Spiff, I’m sure. The other kid went along with the theme of the play, or he didn’t play. It’s neither rude nor discriminatory. It’s not sexist, racist or any other IST. It’s “common sense”. Something the world is in dire lack of these days, it seems. And this is just another nail in the coffin of decency within our social structure. When even a make-believe world must be adversely affected by politically correct motivations…it’s become a sad state of affairs.

Them’s my 2-cents worth, folks… hope you’ve enjoyed my rant. As always; more later.

Goodmorning readers! It’s a rare thing for me to post twice within one week… much less one month, these days. However, I felt like expounding upon a subject today. So, get out your medication and let’s begin.

Today’s subject matter is entitled; “Pets”. Now, before I begin, I must explain that my house is a veritable zoo of animals. I have 4 fish… 3 cats… and 2 dogs. I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop and for my wife to bring home a partridge-in-a-pear-tree. That’d be the topper.

My beagle, named Oliver, stays outside. For the most part, he’s a very loving, content, docile and happy pup. He plays with anyone who will come into his yard, and he has the strength of 4 Oxen. I kid you not. I could pull a Yukon out of a ditch with that dog. Never seen anything like it. My other dog is an AKC registered, pure-blood, Alaskan Malamute. Her name is Spirit, and she’s 60lbs of puppy…at 4 months old. She's primarily an inside-dog, since the high heat of summer would not be pleasant for anyone to endure whilst wearing a thick fur coat. She loves to play and chase the cats…(two of which take great delight in hooking her nose with a claw or two when she gets too close). She enjoys her chewtoy monkey, pouncing grasshoppers, Pringles and peeing 5-gallons at a time.

Now we come to the three stooges. Sassy is our siamese/russian-blue mix, and the oldest of the three. She’s very dignified, bossy, spoiled and a bit on the cranky side now and then. She’s frustratingly finicky about the condition of the catbox, and will just as readily utilize a rug, article of clothing or a fuzzy slipper when the litter doesn’t quite meet up to her level of freshness. She does not tolerate a cold dog nose in close proximity to her at any time.

Callie is our overweight, mentally-challenged, spoiled-rotten, domestic long-haired calico. This cat gets a bite of anything in a bowl, spoon, box or can if it’s in my wife’s hands. She’s the biggest talker of the bunch, laying down a seemingly endless barrage of “Myeeaah” at you everywhere you walk. She has lost much of her grace, much to the delight of my warped sense of humor, and I’m scolded constantly for laughing at her. Missed leaps, fumbles, and the hilariously retarded need for her to paw at anything (and I do mean anything) after taking a dump, really highlights this cat. Oh yes, her pawwing will dumbfound you. Any cat knows that when they squat to do their business, they need to turn around…sniff… and cover it with gravel/sand/litter.

Callie, on the other hand, seems perplexed by this simple action. She, on the other hand, decides that pawing and picking at the plastic sidewalls of the catbox….the plastic door flap….and sometimes the clean lenolium floor outside the catbox… is the more effective way to cover over the beast she’s just given birth to. This typically goes on for at least a minute-and-a-half. Yes… that long. ~scrape scrape pick pick pick pick…..scraaaaape scrape scrape….pick pick~

Eventually, I suppose the undeniable realization that the odor isn’t getting any weaker takes over and she just leaves. The other cats have actually come in behind her just to cover up the smell. Now that’s bonafide mental damage. We won’t even begin to discuss the debate my wife and I have over the coin-purse sized sagging paunch beneath this poor cat. The wife merely calls it “fluff”. I call it “way too many dang treats”. Whatever the case may be… it isn’t attractive. But, then again, I have a pooch around my middle…so I’m in no position to point fingers or paws.

The youngest of the bunch would be our male kitten… Boots. He’s considered to be a “tuxedo” kitty. Sporting a black coat with white booties for his paws, a white mark on his chest and a bit of white on his face, he’s a very handsome young man. With his red collar on, he’s the talk of the town. However… as with all mischevious boys… Boots takes great delight in the nightly destruction of anything green and potted. Plants must have attacked him in a former life or something. I’m not quite sure of the history between him and greenery, but he seems to have a knack for putting it in its place.

Boots also likes to sit at our glass outter door and watch birds. He has a funny way of “trilling” nearly everywhere he goes. He actually can meow like any other cat… but just a few “Brrrr?” sounds is what he typically has to say. He has begun to cat-call at night a bit… but, thankfully, has taken no notion to marking anything. With the two ladies having been fixed and taking no interest in anything remotely related to procreation, I think Boots would be at a loss on exactly how to go about those duties. The ladies are quick to let him know that they’re not up for any hanky-panky.

There are two very large South American Cichlids (Oscars) in a 50-gal aquarium, located in my living room. Their names are Bruce and Chuck. Bruce (after Bruce Lee) and Chuck (after Chuck Norris) spend most of their time looking around… gliding here and yon… picking small dominance fights with each other… and pooping. It is for this last talent of theirs that we have employed the services of Spike, our spotted Plecostomus. He’s the janitor of the bunch, and keeps the tank rather clean. He’s grown exponentially, as a result of….uhm… a plentiful food supply. Lastly, we have Ang. Yes, my youngest son named our red/blue Beta after a cartoon about some oriental “air bender”. The character’s name is Ang…The Avatar. Don’t ask.

So, there you have my zoo of family pets. I feed most of them or they wouldn’t eat. The funny thing is… I didn’t buy or bring home a single one of them. They were either a gift from a family member, or bought from a store. Spirit (malamute) was my birthday present this year. So, I suppose I can take credit for her addition.

Anyway… enough about my pets. Just thought you’d be amused to hear about them. More later.

Today’s venture into my warped synapses has to do with another odd phenomenon in advertising. I know what many of you are thinking… “What IS it with this guy and his endless annoyance with commercial advertisements?” I don’t blame you one bit for your musings or bewilderments. However, it might surprise you to know that I don’t sit and wait for the opportunity to become annoyed at advertising tactics.

But, it sometimes seems as thought marketers actually want to annoy the crap out of the buying public. Perhaps they believe that if something drives you to the brink of insanity, you’ll remember the product. I’m not sure if these individuals have stopped to consider that gimmicks and tricks only drive away customers… but apparently there must be a plethora of gullible morons who flock to these places. You can rest assured that if a product-promotion campaign drives me nuts, I will remember the name. I’ll remember it and avoid it like a flaming gay clown. (yes, I know that mental picture made you shudder too)

An advertiser that respects my intelligence, presents his/her product or service with dignity and professionalism, and places the value of customer loyalty and service above all else… will be guaranteed to gain both my respect, and business. Sadly, “true” professionalism and tact seems to be at an all-time low in the business world.

I can’t count the number of times where I’ve managed to barely avoid an attempt to reach through my truck’s radio and severely choke the dickens out of some half-wit on a car lot who feels that the only way to get people onto his lot is by standing approximately 4 feet from a perfectly functioning microphone… and acting like a carnival barker for the hearing impaired. The blatantly obvious façade of “excitement” and “enthusiasm” that they try to pull off, typically accompanied by several exaggeratedly dramatic adjectives is also a source of eye-rolling for the author of this blog. The cherry ontop of this little poop-sundae… is when they invariably quip, “I’ll see ya here!!!” To which I laughingly remark, “No….ya won’t!” … and then grin my little disgruntled grin.

Do I need therapy? Wait…don’t answer that. Well, at least you know I’m back. Hope you enjoyed it. There will most assuredly be more revelations into my quiet world of insanity in the near future. Until then, the toilet paper always goes “over”….never “under”. Remember that!!!! (twitch twitch twitch)

I realize that I haven’t made entries into my blog of rants in some time now. The reasons are varied, but one of them brought me to my very knees. I lost my father on March 15, 2007 during an accident in his back yard. He was my father, my friend, my hero and one of my biggest supporters. His guidance and judgement were always valued highly by everyone around him. My words can't hope to represent the love and respect I have for him. He was a very...VERY…good man.

Things such as this tend to take my mind away from matters that would typically annoy me. It makes a person reflect upon the truly important matters in life…and upon how very short this life of ours is. The older I get, the more things fall into perspective with regards to exactly how little time we actually are given on this planet. I don’t plan on being gone forever, but until I get back into my normal routine (if it ever returns to something resembling what was formerly “normal”)… then I will post a new rant for your amusement. If you are a believer and pray, I would ask your prayers for us. We are moving forward as best we can. But, as many of you can attest to from losing loved ones of your own, it is very difficult.

Until next time… at least you know I’m still around. Just silent, for now.

I’m issuing a fair warning to all of my readers who may be short of time today or are only mildly interested in my latest entry. This may take some time to read, and it may touch on some material that you’re not personally comfortable reading. Religion and religious practices tend to be a volatile subject in this day and age.

This morning, I was listening to my favorite local radio morning show. The two DJ’s were discussing a story they’d recently read, about a local politician who was under some controversy for insisting upon placing his hand on the Koran during his governmental swearing-into-office, instead of the traditional Bible.

The whole topic of discussion amongst the two show hosts was centered around whether it mattered that the politician chose the Koran or Bible or some other symbol to be sworn in by? I began to think about this matter as I drove, and I can see several angles of interpretation over this issue. Being raised as a Christian and knowing that this country was founded by religious people, of whom the majority were Christian in faith, I naturally have somewhat of a biased belief in what I consider to be “proper”.

However, I also realize that as our country has grown, the variety of religious beliefs have also grown. This country may have been founded upon Christianity, but it was also founded in the belief that no person should be discriminated against or refused citizenship based upon their religion.

This means that I believe our politicians, while hopefully keeping this country’s best interests in mind, are personaly influenced by their religious upbringing. Their faith in whomever they see fit to worship can and does influence their behavior when it comes to ethics, morality, compassion and justice. I do not judge nor condemn those who follow the Islamic religion any more than I would judge or condemn those who follow Bhuddism. Christianity teaches the offerings of truth, forgiveness, love and mercy. Nowhere have I ever read where Jesus ever walked into another country and began to oppress the people with threats of violence if they did not conform to His teachings.

Therefore, regardless of my feelings and faith, I must address the root issue in question. Is it proper to “swear in” elected political officials by having them place their hand upon the Christian Bible as a sign of their respect toward what it represents… and make a public promise of integrity and patriotism? Well, let me say this; Personally, I would place my hand upon the Bible and swear to uphold the laws of this country, state, county and city. I would perform this action based solely upon my convictions and faith in both God and the Bible. But as far as my feelings of it being proper for ALL elected officials… I’d have to honestly say no.

Why? Well, we have to break down the whole process and address the reason for a swearing-in, to begin with. Elected officials customarily go through a swearing-in process, which is mainly representational and ceremonious in nature. A celebration of the traditions of our nation through representation of its inhabitants by upstanding, educated, competant individuals is what we intend. Now, whether this can be truly said of the officials we’re forced to choose between in this day and age can be questionable at best. But, be that as it may, the ceremony of publicly promising to perform their duties is a time-honored tradition.

So, why do they incorporate the Bible and God into this ceremony? Simple. In times past, there was a profound respect toward the dominant religious beliefs and practices of this fledgeling nation. Historically, these individuals who came to this land seeking religious freedom were Christian and had a deep-seeded faith in God. Therefore, any office to which an individual was elected also entailed a responsibility to those whom they represented.

A sense of moral and ethical integrity was demanded. And a religious governing of one’s conscience and actions tended to be the most bulletproof aspect by which to base the public’s trust in any official. Thus began the practice of integrating a promise to faithfully serve this country and the elected office with morality, integrity and sound ethics… and insured by a fear of righteous judgement, should the individual fail to keep their promise. And this was represented by a public display of faith in God’s Word….which Christians believe is wholely represented by the Holy Bible.
Now… We’re back to the whole question of whether those who are NOT Christians should be forced to utilize the Bible as a symbol of their comitment to ethics, integrity and morality. Asking non-Christians to do this is no more symbolic than if a Christian were to be asked to place their hand upon a sack of flour as a symbol. So are we truly insuring the individual’s moral and ethical commitment by this practice? Or are we stubbornly clinging to mere traditional procedures in raw respect toward the time-honored traditions of this country?

I have a theoretical solution. Why not “offer” the Bible to those who would choose to let it represent their faith during the taking-of-office? And for those who are not Christian, offer the book or symbol of their faith instead? Better yet… if the procedure needs to be uniform in nature, why not merely offer a folded United States flag to place one’s hand upon? Is the symbol of this country not adequate to represent the individual’s oath of devoted service to it?

At the very core of the issue, I’m not sure what’s “right” or “wrong”. I can only hypothesize about fair practices that we could implement in order to adequately respect the elected official on a person by person basis. It is often times very difficult to sort through our feelings when they are influenced by both our own faith and an innate sense of responsibility to respect the choices of other human beings.

Perhaps I’m incorrect in my assumptions and/or solutions, but I’m no expert. I just jot down my thoughts here. At the very least, it gives my readers something to ponder in quiet times. None of us have all of the answers… but maybe we can figure out a few of them by putting our heads together.

Until next time…. Peace.

Common Courtesy: The Forgotten Manner

One trend I’m seeing among the teenage group these days is the utter lack of respect for anyone around them in public venues. Perhaps it is simply my own age finally beginning to show, much to the delight of my wife…I’m sure…who has been hoping that I would grow up one day.

Regardless of whether or not I’m becoming a grumpy old man at the ripe age of 33 or not isn’t really the point here. The point is one of Common Courtesy. A behavioral benchmark that is supposed to be taught by parents to their children in order to instill a sense of respect for other people’s property, time and environment. Taking other people’s valuable time and efforts into mind before selfishly acting like a showoff or a nitwit seems to be an alien concept these days.

The more rudely and obnoxious the kids can be, the more cool they seem to believe their behavior to be. The scornful glares they receive as a result of their actions never seem to deter their motivations for a repeat performance. Perhaps it is the chastising glances that mark their success? It is unsure.

Recently, I took my family to enjoy a showing of “The Nativity”. It is a modern movie based upon the events leading up to and involving the birth of Jesus Christ in Bethlehem. The story, itself, is awe-inspiring. The movie is a wonderful production. But it would have been a much more enjoyable viewing, had not a gaggle of giggling adolescents seen fit to show up approximately 1 minute before the movie began.

Talking obnoxiously loud, climbing over seats directly behind us, bumping our chairs, passing crackling candy papers and boxes, blipping their cellphones, whispering smartass comments about various situations within the movie. And, finally, culminating in an utterly distasteful and haphazardous attempt of “applause” upon the birth of Jesus in the manger. I mean, honestly… have they no couth whatsoever?

My wife tried to explain away their rude behavior by insisting that in some youth ministries, it is encouraged to clap for spiritually beneficial matters. However, this all goes back to the whole “common courtesy” issue with regards to behavioral modification. The movie was not a football game, nor a rock concert. An emotionally moving depiction of the birth of our Lord and Savior should not be rewarded by two teenaged boys muttering out a half-hearted “wooooo” and clapping like a pair of sealions at SeaWorld.

It is this lack of respect for the dignity of the subject matter presented, coupled with their exhibition of self-gratutitive clowning that truly upsets my sensibilities. It is NOT too much to ask for some common courtesy and respect for others in the theater. If you have been a party to this type of behavior in the past, or know of those who engage in it for the purpose of cheap thrills and low-grade humor… please stop it.

If you persist in this type of behavior while I’m seated nearby… don’t be surprised if you end up leaving the theater with a bucket of oily, buttered popcorn crammed down over the top of your head.

Ok folks, I guess it’s time to throw out a few more rants about things that annoy the crap outta me. Today’s hodge-podge medley starts off with… “Cultural Blackmail”. Then we’ll explore the absurd phenomenon I like to call “Winter Festival”.

Cultural Blackmail –
I have a theory about something that we all seem to find ourselves victim of. I like to call it cultural blackmail because it seems as tho the powers-that-be like to saturate our entertainment, our marketing and our products with trends and views that not all of us share. They shove an idea down our throats everywhere we turn until we’re so sick and tired of being annoyed and offended by it… that we hopelessly give in and accept it as “normal”. Let me illustrate this…

Up until about a year or two ago, products that are internationally delivered came with multi-lingual instructions. It wasn’t uncommon to find French, German, Spanish, English, Chinese, Japanese and Korean languages in the boxes. This is marketably understandable, citing the fact that these products are used around the world and need to include instructions in local languages. However, it seems to be the new market trend here in the United States to use two languages in 9/10ths of products we see and buy each day. English and Spanish are splayed over everything we watch, see, touch, use or consume. It’s offensive and intrusive to the American culture!!

Oh I know there are those out there who would get all indignant over this viewpoint and call me racially or culturally biased. But, before you label me and file me away in your little box of evil people… let me expound on this subject a bit. You might begin to see my reasoning. I’m of the opinion that each and every country ought to have a primary (or “official”) language. The inclusion of other languages within its society is understandable and necessary for several reasons. But each country ought to be recognized for a main dialect. The United States has been and continues to be a predominantly English speaking society. In fact, most of the world has adopted English as the “common denominator” language. They typically teach it in addition to their own.

The United States is about the only country in the world where we’re trying to force-encorporate Spanish into our society as an additional “official language”. Look on TV and you’ll see channels specifically designed for Latino viewers. Go to the store and nearly every single package you pick up will have a Spanish version of the labeling. Go to a restaurant, and there it is again in small print just below the English wording. Go to any public restroom and they have Spanish instructions on safety procedure signs.

Why are we, as a country, catering to this crap? Children’s shows… musical influences… common terminology… even toys, are being altered to force-feed the acceptance of either the Spanish language or Latino culture into our predominantly English speaking and culturally established society. Granted…yes… we are a “melting pot” of cultures. I won’t argue that. Most of us are genetic “mutts” if you will, coming from several lines of culture and/or races. Our diversity is beautiful.

But, there are many other races, creeds, colors, cultures and languages that are found in the United States. Where are all of the Japanese terms? Where are the Chinese warning signs in the restrooms? Where are the German food label translations in the menus at restaurants? Aren’t there German-Americans in the United States who need linguistic translations? No? Why? Oh… because they learned English. Because their families came over from Germany or Japan or China or Korea or wherever, and wanted to become Americans. Because they learned the language that Americans speak… English.

So, why is Spanish being plastered all over everything we see, hear, touch, eat, drink or use? Because we’ve become complacent as a nation to the plague of illegal immigration into this country from Mexico. The illegals don’t give a damn about learning to speak English. They want the jobs we don’t like to do and they want to earn as much money as possible without paying a dime in taxes. They use public sympathy about their financial hardships in Mexico to gain a foothold in America, and then play upon our sensibilities to have us adapt to THEIR language, instead of the other way around.

Don’t get me wrong here… I love Mexican culture. Mexican food is awesome. Mexican music is catchy and Mexican girls are very sexy. But, just because the upstanding LEGAL immigrants become Latino-Americans doesn’t make them any more special or deserving of a linguistic-acceptance-campaign than it would be for African-Americans to suddenly demand the inclusion any (or all) of the 153 known languages in Africa. And if you don’t think there are at least 153… I would like to direct your attention to the following published list:

African Languages

The main point is this: We don’t need to include Spanish on everything we interact with in the United States. In the spirit of fairness to all of our culturally diverse American citizens, we should cater to every segment of society… or cater to only one common language: English. I vote for the latter, because we’re a nation founded upon democracy. A democracy functions by the rule of the majority. It is an undeniable fact that the majority of our nation speak English.

This being said… I would like to wish our nation a Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanza, and Felis Navidad.

Winter Festival –
Oh my dear stars… what have we become? You’ve read my rants about this mental-masturbation we’ve come to know as Political Correctness, founded upon the ideal that we should be “culturally, racially or culturally sensitive to diverse viewpoints”. While I’m sure it was invented in the best of intentions, it has quickly grown and festered into the single biggest pussification of the American backbone that this country has ever seen!! The culmination of this atrocious behavior comes in the degridation and unsanctimonious thumbing of the nose at the most holy Christian holiday of the entire year. I speak, of course, about Christmas.

How low do we have to sink as a nation, before we finally remember that we are a nation that was founded upon freedom of speech… and freedom of religion… without fear of retaliation by our government? We have become so utterly crippled by the fear of offending our fellow man in any shape, form or fashion… that we are cowards to stand up and exercise our freedoms!! I have yet to see a Christian horde forming in the streets to assault Athiests. I have never witnessed Jews waging a media attack against them either. When is the last time you heard that any God-loving religious denomination in this nation has set about to force their religious beliefs upon those unwilling and uninterested to partake in worship? If you have, I would certainly like to hear about it.

So tell me why we are inclined to alter the way we openly celebrate this wonderful holiday season. Why are we, the God-loving majority, being forced to call “Christmas” or “Hannukah” by a new name? Has our conscience been so beaten and smothered by Political Correctness that we refuse to acknowledge our Faith upon the most important occasion of the year? Truly, there can be no sadder state of affairs within this great nation of ours. To let those who believe upon nothing and lead their lives lost to the knowledge of a loving God… dictate how we, as believers, conduct ourselves at this most joyous time of year… is heart-breaking. I, for one, respect the fact that we have freedom of religion in American. You may choose to believe as you believe. You are also free to believe in nothing. But you are NOT free to tell me that I am prohibited from displaying a nativity scene with a baby Jesus, in a public place. You are NOT free to tell me that our Jewish friends are prohibited from displaying a Menorah in a public place.

Our government was founded upon Christian principles. It’s historical fact. Men who believed in God formed a government that was intended to respect the worship of God and to stay out of the affairs of religious expression. In fact… it was well-established that this nation’s government was to be governed by a fear of God, a respect to His authority, and in ALL matters… a respect to our right to worship as we saw fit. Separation of Church and State wasn’t intended to keep Faith or God out of our government… it was intended to keep our government’s power and rule out of our Churches. If you doubt me… take a look around Washington DC. Monuments, buildings and even the etched wording upon the doorway to the United States Congress will back me up. We are one nation, under God.

God help us never to forget our basic, human rights that were given by Him... and guaranteed by the spilled blood of our forefathers. May their selfless, ultimate sacrifices never be in vain.

Hrmmm… What’s this ancient looking thing here? It’s all covered in cobwebs and dust. Let’s see… if I just wipe this off here… OH! Well would you look at that! It’s a BLOG!!! Wow… I forgot I even had this!

~LoL~ Howdy folks. Yea, it’s actually me again. I thought I would visit the old blog again and toss out some random sparks from what gray matter I possess. The main reason I haven’t been updating the blog regularly for some time now, is due to the fact that things have been going fairly well.

For the exception of some rather hurtful and regretful dialogue with an acquaintence of mine, things have been pretty smooth. We had a nice Halloween and a pleasant Thanksgiving. As always, I ate too much. And without a currently active gym membership, I’m sure my pants will remind me of that fact each morning for the foreseeable future.

My grandfather recently fell in his bedroom and broke his ankle, so he’s been in a leg brace and sitting in a wheelchair for the past week. He’s definitely a unique character. He’s 87 years old and can remember the pet pig he had at age 4… but can’t tell you who came to visit him 8 hours ago. He feels frustrated that his memory ain’t what it used to be… at least the short-term memory. But, I just keep telling him that we’ll remind him and not to worry. He still knows who pretty much everyone is. He’s still got his witty humor that he likes to pull out of the hat when you least expect it. So, the neurons are still firing… they’re just not keeping a current log of events.

I managed to climb up on the roof and hang up our icicle-lights without teetering off the edge and mortally injuring myself… so I count that as a success. I improved upon my jimmy-rigged “christmas tree” of lights out front over last year’s design. My mom found a nice hula-hoop which I’ve used as the base for the cone-shaped strands of lights. It seems to be working well. Although I may need to add another strand of lights next year to sort of “flesh-out” the shape. It still seems a tad on the sparce side to me. But, then again, I’m never satisfied with my own work. The kids like it… so I guess that’s what matters.

I’ve split up a whole mess of dried pine kindling and it’s ready for my rather small and unremarkable “fireplace”… but I still need to load up some good dry wood from over at my grandfather’s place. He’s got an entire shed of the stuff that my dad helped stock. Of course, I always call and ask permission to share in the bounty of wood (even tho we have central heat)… and they always tell me to help myself. He’s got enough wood to keep him warm for TWO winters, so there’s no danger of running low. I don’t burn all that much in my little peanut fireplace, either. It’s really more for atmosphere than heat… even tho it does put out a nice little area of toasty warmth.

We’re supposedly slated to receive a nice little frosty unplugging of Mother Nature’s nostrils on this coming Thursday. I say this because it doesn’t seem like it’s going to be much more than slightly annoying. All of us are really sick of the yo-yo temperatures around here and are ready for a commitment of WINTER to set in. At present, it’s 66 degrees with a projected high of 75 today. By Thursday, it’s supposed to… quote… “drop off sharply in temperature”. I guess we’ll wait and see.

We’re supposed to get freezing rain, sleet and snow. But they always say, “No more than 1 to 2 inches at most”. So that’s why I say it’s nothing more than Mother Nature unplugging a nostril at us. It’s hardly worth getting excited over. It will most likely be melted and gone within 24 to 48 hours anyway. Yaaaay winter. ~sigh~

My oldest boy turned 10 on November 22. He’s finally into the double-digit area. I can remember when his little hands barely wrapped around one of my fingers. Wow… time definitely flies. Now he can almost eat more than ME… and he hasn’t even gotten to 16 yet. This is scary. ~lol~

I really don’t have anymore updates, at present. You pretty well know what’s been going on since my sudden and unexplained disappearance. I’m still sitting here in this office everyday… doing what I’m asked to do and trying to stay awake until the buzzer sounds to go home. ~lol~ A desk job is rather unflattering to the waistline… but it sure beats standing out in the heat, rain or wind.

I’ll try my best to make some more entries into this thing very soon. Until then… take care. And thanks for visiting my little corner of the web.

Hello there boys n’ girls… I’m back to confound, delight and entertain you once again. Before we dive into the mental muck, I’d like to take a moment and direct your beady little eyes upwards to the dark rectangle located immediately above this entry. I’m participating in a feature that’s offered by Blogger, which enables blog publishers to post small, non-invasive promotional advertisements for various services and/or products. You are, by no means, required to click on any banner you see… but any ad you see that might interest you will gain me a small amount of revenue. As long as it doesn’t adversely detract from my page, I figure I’ll give it a try. Help a poor, disgruntled redneck out… if the notion strikes ya.

Now onto the rant at hand…

Today’s brief and misguided tour into the mire of my collective thoughts happens to center around the medical establishment. In particular, pharmaceutical companies.

“Side Effects”

George Carlin addressed this subject in one of his skits. And, while he did a very good job in conveying the overall sense of counter-promotional redundancy that’s associated with this topic, I would also like to expound on it. Why? Because I’m sure that some of you may not have been so fortunate as to have been enlightened by Mr. Carlin’s take on it.

You see… the pharmaceutical companies today are engaging in a strange practice. It typically happens when they’re not shoving new and inadequately tested medications through FDA loopholes and ending up in subsequent class-action lawsuits. While they may not have any control over this governmentally induced requirement, the whole business of producing prescription drugs is suffering from a bad case of jeering and mocking. What am I talking about? The listing of “side-effects”… that’s what.

We’ve all seen them on television. Commercials for “brand A” this or “brand b” that. They claim that their product will help treat one ailment or another, but they also rattle off a stream of side effects that may or may not afflict you, based on a test case. Test cases involve a set number of people who have similar conditions. They are divided into two groups and half are given the medication while the other half receives a placebo. No, this is not some rude and invasive medical procedure. A placebo is nothing more than a fancy-shmancy medical term for a sugar pill. None of the test case subjects know what they’re getting, so none of them can act in a predetermined way. The idea, then, is that the testers will gain an accurate knowledge of the medication’s real benefits.

However, any and all side effects reported by subjects who took the actual medication must be acknowledged and advertised. These side effects may or may not be a direct result of the medication, and in some cases have absolutely nothing to do with it. However, in an effort to collectively cover their asses and minimize testing costs… most companies will merely list any side effect reported, and be done with it. This ultimately ends up resulting in a hodge-podge list of mostly absurd, and sometimes humorous, descriptions at the end of television advertisements.

Something to the effect of: “Try GAS-MAX for upset stomach relief…. Use only as directed. Side effects may include headache, diarrhea, vomiting, nosebleed, indigestion, sneezing, hang nails, gout, acne, ear infection, cramping, insomnia and constipation. Consult your doctor if symptoms persist. Do not take if you are currently taking medications for liver disease. Women who are pregnant or may become pregnant should not take GAS-MAX as certain complications may occur. Talk with your doctor about GAS-MAX”

Now… you tell me. Would you use GAS-MAX if there were a very real possibility that you could suffer from any number of those “side effects” as direct result? And the last part is what really cracks me up. Almost every woman in America has either been pregnant…is pregnant…or could become pregnant. Citing the fact that most women are at a direct risk of becoming pregnant if they engage in an active sex life, (and with the only real guarantee against it being celibacy) listing a warning like that is rather redundant, in my opinion. Perhaps it would be more accurate to warn against its use if you're currently pregnant or intend to become pregnant.

Disclaimer: Any reference to copyrighted names, persons, places and/or trademarks in this post are purely coincidental and unintentional.

I would like to take a moment and express my apologies for removing the last post I submitted for your reading enjoyment. Upon review of its content, I felt that the sensitive subject matter might be wrongly interpreted.

For those of you who may have already viewed its contents, I sincerely hope that you have not taken a negative connotation from it. I assure you that it was intended as a positive entry and I have the greatest of respects for all races.

Some matters are extremely difficult to discuss without the potential to accidentally offend people or hurt peoples’ feelings. I hope that this has not been the case.

I will post more rants soon.

On a day of rememberance... On a day of determination.... On a day when we still stand together as a nation, grieving those whom we lost... On a day remembered 5 years later, yet seeming ever present.... I submit the following;

I found these on the internet, and was moved by both. I hope that in your time of rememberance and reflection upon a day that demonstrated the very worst and very best of humananity...that you will remember to pray for the families of the victims. Pray for our nation, as a whole. Pray that God's Will may be done in all things, and that He may exact the rightful justice and judgement upon those who would heartlessly and cruelly snuff out the lives of so many of His beloved children.

May God Bless each of you who read this... and may God Bless America.

---------------

I am a World Trade Center tower, standing tall in the
clear blue sky, feeling a violent blow in my side, and
I am a towering inferno of pain and suffering imploding upon
myself and collapsing to the ground.
May I rest in peace.

I am a terrified passenger on a hijacked airplane not knowing
where we are going or that I am riding on fuel
tanks that will be instruments of death, and
I am a worker arriving at my office not knowing that
in just a moment my future will be obliterated.
May I rest in peace.

I am a pigeon in the plaza between the two towers
eating crumbs from someone's breakfast when fire rains down on me
from the skies, and
I am a bed of flowers admired daily by thousands of
tourists now buried under five stories of rubble.
May I rest in peace.

I am a firefighter sent into dark corridors of smoke and debris on
a mission of mercy only to have it collapse around me, and
I am a rescue worker risking my life to save lives
who is very aware that I may not make it out alive.
May I rest in peace.

I am a survivor who has fled down the stairs and out of the building
to safety who knows that nothing will ever be the same in my soul again, and
I am a doctor in a hospital treating patients burned from head to toe
who knows that these horrible images will remain in my mind forever.
May I know peace.

I am a tourist in Times Square looking up at the giant TV screens
thinking I'm seeing a disaster movie as I watch the Twin Towers crash to the ground, and
I am a New York woman sending e-mails to friends and family letting them know that I am safe.
May I know peace.

I am a piece of paper that was on someone's desk this morning and
now I'm debris scattered by the wind across lower Manhattan, and
I am a stone in the graveyard at Trinity Church covered with soot from
the buildings that once stood proudly above me, death meeting death.
May I rest in peace.

I am a dog sniffing in the rubble for signs of life, doing my best to be of service, and
I am a blood donor waiting in line to make a simple but very needed contribution for the victims.
May I know peace.

I am a resident in an apartment in downtown New York
who has been forced to evacuate my home, and
I am a resident in an apartment uptown who has walked
100 blocks home in a stream of other refugees.
May I know peace.

I am a family member who has just learned that someone I love has died, and
I am a pastor who must comfort someone who has suffered a heart-breaking loss.
May I know peace.

I am a loyal American who feels violated and vows to stand behind any
military action it takes to wipe terrorists off the face of the earth, and
I am a loyal American who feels violated and worries that people who
look and sound like me are all going to be blamed for this tragedy.
May I know peace.

I am a frightened city dweller who wonders whether
I'll ever feel safe in a skyscraper again, and
I am a pilot who wonders whether there will ever
be a way to make the skies truly safe.
May I know peace.

I am the owner of a small store with five employees
that has been put out of business by this tragedy, and
I am an executive in a multinational corporation who
is concerned about the cost of doing business in a terrorized world.
May I know peace.

I am a visitor to New York City who purchases postcards
of the World Trade Center Twin Towers that are no more, and
I am a television reporter trying to put into words the terrible things I have seen.
May I know peace.

I am a boy in New Jersey waiting for a father who will never come home, and
I am a boy in a faraway country rejoicing in the streets of
my village because someone has hurt the hated Americans.
May I know peace.

I am a general talking into the microphones about how we must stop
the terrorist cowards who have perpetrated this heinous crime, and
I am an intelligence officer trying to discern how
such a thing could have happened on American soil, and
I am a city official trying to find ways to alleviate the suffering of my people.
May I know peace.

I am a terrorist whose hatred for America knows
no limit and I am willing to die to prove it, and
I am a terrorist sympathizer standing with all the
enemies of American capitalism and imperialism, and
I am a master strategist for a terrorist group who planned this abomination.
My heart is not yet capable of openness, tolerance, and loving.
May I know peace.

I am a citizen of the world glued to my television set,
fighting back my rage and despair at these horrible events, and
I am a person of faith struggling to forgive the unforgivable,
praying for the consolation of those who have lost loved ones,
calling upon the merciful beneficence of God/Yahweh/Allah/Spirit/Higher Power.
May I know peace.

I am a child of God who believes that we are
all children of God and we are all part of each other.
May we all know peace.

~ By: Vietnamese Buddhist Monk, Thich Nhat Hanh ~

"A Tribute Of Lights"

Today’s entry is not a rant. Today’s entry is about the loss of a dear friend who I've never had the honor to meet. His name is known around the world, in almost every country. And his enthusiasm for life, his dedication to the cause of wildlife conservation and the excitement he shared with us through his adventures, made him a living legend.

His name is Steve Irwin, better known as the “Crocodile Hunter”. The news of his death came by phone from a good friend of mine. I was out riding ATV’s with some friends of ours, and at first I thought it was just impossible. I just didn’t want to believe that the man who seemed impervious to nature’s perils could be gone! How in the world could a stingray put a barb exactly between Steve’s ribs and straight into his heart? That would be like… a one in a million fluke of chance!! But, my disbelief and shock soon gave way to sadness. I sat, fighting back tears as I read the official report on CNN.com…and had to take a private moment to grieve.

“Steve-O”, as he often referred to himself, has always been a part of my childrens’ lives. From the time my firstborn showed interest in TV, the Crocodile Hunter series was one of his favorite shows. The whole family would watch with amazement as Steve cheated injury and death with his lightning fast reflexes, his keen wits and his attention to not only his own safety, but that of the animal and the filmcrew as well.

He was definitely a bloke-among-blokes. And even tho I never got the opportunity to shake his hand and thank him for opening my eyes and my heart to his world of wildlife conservation, I fully intend to make it to Australia one day. And when I’m there, I hope to offer my thanks to Australia Zoo and his family. At the very least, I hope to visit his grave and offer my respects.

My prayer is that the Lord will shine His grace, love, comfort and healing down upon the Irwins and their friends. And God bless you, Steve-O. Your legacy and your work will pay homage to the mission you followed. Rest well, mate….By Crikey we miss you.

I suppose it’s time for more hate and discontent from the disgruntled redneck. I wonder if I was ever “gruntled” in the first place? Hrmm… I’ll have to ponder that later. At any rate, I have a series of rants that I’m sure will delight, confound, or confuse the hell out of each and every one of you. But, then again, that’s why you’re here…aren’t you. I’m your poison of choice. Hahaha….

And now, I present to you… the Quantum-Rant. Think of it as a value-pack.

Not While I’m Eating! – Nutrition In Schools – Participation Required

~ Not While I’m Eating! ~

This first subject may not be one of your favorites, but it has been an issue that I’m sure has annoyed the mess out of most (if not all) of us at one time or another. How many times have you come home from work, ready for an evening of supper and some television? You might be one of many families who enjoy eating a light supper while watching TV. Afterall, that’s why TV-Dinners were invented.

However, as many can attest to, there’s nothing quite so unappetizing as being forced to endure personal hygiene or sexual dysfunction advertisements while you’re trying to enjoy a meal. It’s just uncalled for. While I’m sure the manufacturers seem to feel justified in trying to present a quality product to the pubic for the purposes of bettering their quality of life… doing it in a manner that forces everyone to endure this disturbing subject matter, is another issue.

I don’t personally enjoy hearing about how one product is more absorbent than another, and how some woman’s life was made substantially better because of it. Nor do I like seeing some smiling baffoon on a golf course who is trying to convince me that his magic little pill not only made him a hit in the bedroom, but also made him a perfect golfer.

There’s a thing I like to call “Products Of Demand”. A (POD), if you will, is something that’s available to the general buying public and serves a particular purpose. However, that purpose is usually of a personal, sensitive and sometimes embarrassing nature. These products are known by common knowledge. Products like hemorrhoid treatments… lice medication… sanitary napkins… erectile dysfunction aids… personal lubricants… birth control.

POD’s like these are sought after when they’re needed. Marketing for them should revolve around the location of the product…not broadcast on national television for everyone to have to see. POD’s aren’t for everyone, and shouldn’t be marketed to everybody at once, in my opinion. Suppertime would be a lot more enjoyable if we didn’t have the hazard of those advertisements hanging about.

~ Nutrition in Schools ~

It seems that our nation, as a whole, has gotten rounder and rounder over the past few decades. Many people theorize about the various causes. Personally, I don’t think it’s merely one cause…but many small no-no’s that have caused the larger problem to grow (if you’ll excuse the pun).

You’ve heard my previous rant about “quick-fix” diets or gadgets that claim to have an amazing remedy to your obese condition. Few ever actually do. But here, lately, the government has decided that instead of respecting the sovereignty of the parental figure(s) in an American home environment, they’re going to step into our shoes and become mandatory nutritionists for our children!

Granted, proper nutrition is one of the main keys of being physically healthy. And good intentions among nutritionists, government officials and some parents is commendable. But kids have been receiving unsolicited judgements about themselves from various sources for as long as there has been school. Hazing, bullying, theft, social exclusion… these are things kids have been tormented with for untold years. And now they’re being subjected not only to judgment by their piers…but by a governmental “fat test”. The BMI (body-mass-index) is taken each year and sent home to the parents. Why? Because the government feels that kids are being raised up in an unhealthy manner and they’re going to cost the American taxpayer millions of dollars in medical bills. I hate to be the bearer of suprising news to these governmental agencies on nutrition… but American’s have been eating whatever the heck we want to eat for many, many, many years. To suddenly impose this heavy burden of judgement on our young generation of kids is, at the very least, unfair.

I say that the agencies need to get their fingers out of our kids’ lunches and make school about Reading, Writing, Math, Science and History again!! This isn’t a health-spa… this is an educational institution!! Leave the nutritional aspects to us…the parents. We conceived them, raise them, feed them, clothe them and send them for an education… not a diet plan.

If government officials want to make a change, they can tighten up their OWN flabby bellies and stop eating high-priced, high-carb, restaurant meals and start chowing down on these new menu requirements they’ve slapped on our kids in the cafeterias. Let’s see how well the officials like drinking watered down, no-name fruit juice boxes instead of Starbucks Coffee and Cappuccinos. How about a tasteless, steamed veggie tray instead of that perfectly grilled porterhouse? No? I rest my case.

It’s sad that our children have to suffer humiliation and nutritional blandness just because our governor “Hollywood Huckabee” decided that Twinkies are bad and had a gastric bypass. Now “Mr. Skinny” is on a crusade to liberate us from our terrible eating habits…. whether we like it or not. He doesn’t give a rat’s ass about us, personally. He’s concerned about his presidential campaign chances, and about gaining national recognition for his stance on the American health issues topics.

Political ambition is a monstrous thing….isn’t it.

~ Participation Required ~

Anyone who frequents the internet is almost guaranteed to come across a banner or two like the one simulated below…



You might think that by successfully shooting the shark, you’ve just gotten yourself a Playstation 3! Wow! That’d be so cool! That was so…..easy.

Ah…easy, was it? Do you know how much a new Playstation 3 is going to retail for? Somewhere in the neighborhood of $600. And you believe that by clicking a red button and shooting a cartoon shark, someone is going to send you a brand new Playstation 3? Hrmm. Well, look down there in the lower right corner of that nifty little game you just played. See that microscopic text? It says, “Participation Required”. That’s the catch.

You see… the sly little marketing companies and their Flash animation artists have come to a meeting of the minds, you might say. They decided that you’re an idiot. Now don’t get offended….they think everyone is an idiot. They think that you’re too stupid to catch onto what they’re doing. They’re using a gimmick. What’s the gimmick? Why nothing other than manipulation of people’s perceptions and assumptions. If someone says, “I threw the ball”, you get the mental picture of a ball being thrown. If someone says, “I fell down”, you get the mental picture of someone tripping and crashing to the floor. Most people do, and therein lies the foundation for this particular marketing scheme.

If someone tells you, “Throw this rock in the pond and win $10,000”…you’d leap at the chance to throw the rock, right? What would you say if you threw the rock in, and didn’t get the money? I’ll bet you’d be pretty annoyed, right? Some of you would be downright mad. Ah, but did you read the rock? Yes…read the rock. You see, the rock said, “Participation in the upcoming footrace is required for a chance to win $10,000. An entry fee of $20 is required for the footrace, and a deposit of $10 is required for the mandatory footwear. If you win the footrace and do not appear at the winner’s stand in 20 seconds, you forfeit all winnings. The winner’s stand is 50 miles away.” Now, anybody with half a brain wouldn’t participate in such a silly offer, because it’s difficult and time consuming with a high probability of error on the participant’s part. Many chances to lose and few to win constitute a large portion of the “games” and “offers” out there on the net these days.

Let’s look at how the whole thing happens. You “assumed” that if you took the offer and threw the rock into the pond, you would get $10,000. Why didn’t you get the money? Because of misleading wordplay on the part of the marketer. Nowhere does it say “Throw this rock in the pond TO win $10,000”. That would imply that your successful action would grant you a reward.

By substituting the word “and”…they have played upon your assumptions. It’s actually two offers. “Throw this rock in the pond” and then “Win $10,000”. Throwing the rock does nothing more than get your attention. They want you to think that a small amount of your effort will gain you vast rewards. They’re trying to draw you in so they can get you to participate in the requirements for a chance at the $10,000. Why would they do this? Because sleazy companies who want to gain profits by any means possible will contract these marketers to do this.

They supply a prize…and require that you apply for their offers of credit cards, music memberships, discount buyers clubs, and all sorts of other mainly useless garbage. You waste all of your time and much of your money with these ridiculous offers…then you have to make sure you’re credited with participation in the offers (sometimes this hinges on you being granted credit, based on your credit rating). After this, you must send in the proper redemption forms with proof of participation…and then wait for them to honor their offer of the prize. Is all of that worth your attention to a stupid blinking button? I think not.

My public services, and rants, are done……for now. As always, more later.

Yes, yes… I know. Many of you think that my prolonged absence and lack of contribution to the blog could only mean one thing…. “He’s finally matured and has gone on to bigger and better things!” Not so! I’m still as childish, unstable, unpredictable and disgruntled as I ever was! So, just put those hopes aside. We’re about to leap into the abyss once more. (Aren’t you glad I’m so consistent?)

Today’s entry is sort of a hodge-podge mish-mosh of different little pet peeves of mine. It will consist of everything from “Previously Owned” to “Pepsi-fication” to “Highway Robbery at the Pump”. So grab a beverage of your choice and sit back, because you're in for a lengthy read.

- Previously Owned -

Oh merciful heavens! How many times have we been presented with this little automotive bubble-gum term? While I will expound on the redundancy of this terminology in a moment… I would be remiss not to also refer you to an already established commentary on the subject. It is provided by Foamy The Squirrel, (just click on "Cell Phones & Car Ads").... and I must warn my readers that it does contain adult language. Be that as it may, I would like to voice my agreement with his major points, thusly…

“Jason…”, you might ask, “…why is it that they don’t just called a used car a used car, anymore?” That’s a very good question, my little followers, and I’ll tell you why. You see, automobile dealerships try to put on a smoke-&-mirrors act in order to establish a comfortable emotional environment. They want to appear to each customer, as if he/she is the dealership’s most valued and important one.

Now, let’s address the history of the term, itself. Some years ago, a marketing research think-tank came up with the revelation that the word “used” might convey a sense of diminished quality. They concluded that the term “used” might cause the customer to see the potential purchase of such a vehicle as unwise. Why? Because it could mistakenly convey an underlying possibility of wear and diminished performance or quality. Therefore, regardless of the redundancy of the newly adopted term, they have established an industry-wide cliché of calling “used” cars “previously owned”.

If you want to get technical about the term “previously owned”, you must realize that every car is previously owned. How? Well, ownership is established by any person or persons who control a legal interest in the property that they hold. What this means is that, initially, the vehicle was owned by the manufacturer. Whoever created the vehicle owns it until they are paid for their labor and materials. After the vehicle is shipped to the dealership, it is given over into the care and protection of the dealership owner.

The dealership attempts to sell the vehicle to customers, but most customers don’t have $20,000-$40,000 burning a hole in their respective pocketbooks. Therefore, they typically arrange a vehicle loan from either a local financial institution (bank, credit union, etc) or they establish a loan through a specialized lending institution that caters to vehicle loans. The ownership of the vehicle now changes hands to the lien holder. Technically, neither of the “owners” thus far have “driven” or “used” the vehicle. They’ve merely transferred ownership of it.

YOU, the giddy consumer, are now the “user” of the vehicle in question. ((Technically, if you trailer the vehicle to your home and push it into the garage, making sure never to drive it, it cannot be called “used”. It’s just been “previously owned” prior to anyone else owning or using it.)) So we now see a definite breakdown in terminology that seems to have somehow been blended into a confusing and inaccurate advertisement gimmick. Now you can see how “previously owned” is a rather redundant term and an obvious condition of any vehicle, and “used” is more precise in its meaning.

- Pepsification -

I know you’re all sitting out there wondering where I came up with this word. No, it’s not in any dictionary or thesaurus. I just created it to more adequately describe the process by which Pepsico, Inc. is trying to monopolize and brainwash the major portion of southern restaurant chains and their patrons. You see, it’s becoming increasingly difficult and frustrating to many of us when we set out for a meal in town these days.

Nearly every place I go has a soda fountain, and most of them are stocked with a selection of Pepsi products. While I’m sure that there are some people residing in Arkansas that enjoy Pepsi products, with myself being a fan of at least one of them (Mt. Dew)… Pepsi Cola tastes somewhat akin to carbonated pancake syrup, in my humble opinion. Coca Cola far exceeds Pepsi Cola as far as taste goes. But, whether you personally prefer Pepsi or Coke isn’t the matter I’m addressing, per se.

I’m more concerned about the disturbing trend with restaurants that seem to cater ONLY to Pepsi products. Why isn’t Coca Cola being more aggressive in their attempt to keep a loyal fanbase happy by making sure that their products are also included at softdrink fountains in restaurants? After all, there is a Coca Cola distribution center in Little Rock, Arkansas for pete’s sake!! That should account for something!!

Not everybody likes Pepsi. I’d go so far as to wager that the percentage isn’t in favor of Pepsi in this area at all. But Pepsi keeps trying to monopolize the distribution in this area. Sponsorship of events… soda fountains… television advertisements… you name it.

Coke seriously needs to get on the ball, in my opinion. They’re letting lots of people become disappointed each time they sit down to a meal at a restaurant. I would think that it could be detrimental to their marketing strategy. But what do I know about marketing….

- Highway Robbery At The Pump -

I don’t think it’s any great news to people that the price of gasoline is hideously overblown to the point of ludicrousy. At what point can an industry justify the yo-yo effect of petroleum pricing, not on a weekly basis…not on a daily basis… but on an HOURLY basis now?? Filling stations are virtually at the point of needing a full time employee that’s hired merely to walk out with a suction pole and plastic numbers to continuously change the price of fuel.

While I’m sure OPEC has a lot to do with setting the price of crude oil, and the major refiners of the oil into usable gasoline add in their costs to this amount, I don’t understand why the price is in a constant and excruciatingly painful state of flux. America’s pocketbooks are screaming for mercy as our vehicles have to not only contend with the distances we drive, but with the task of keeping us cool in the midst of this oppressive heat wave that has swept the nation. We need a damn break… and SOON.

“Well, Mr. Opinionated Redneck, what would be YOUR solution to the crisis?”, you might be inclined to ask. I have a few alternatives…

#1) Citing the fact that we, as a nation, consume the vast majority of all products from oil-exporting nations throughout the world. I submit that we can set the price of any crude oil we buy. By having a monopoly on the percentage of consumption… any decline in our usage would spell disaster for the exporters.

The inherent problem with enacting this financial leverage and thereby establishing a much lower cost per barrel, lies in the fact that our daily demand for oil has become an absolute addiction and a necessary part of our economy. It is so much so, that we can’t even spare the reduced consumption rate enough to apply leverage to the supplier.

Without enough daily crude oil, our nation would grind to a halt. Therein lies our Achilles Heel. We have been blindly ignoring the undeniable need for an alternative abundant energy source for too many years now… and like all procrastinators tend to discover, it costs more in the long run to delay.

Conclusion: Implausible

#2) Tap our existing emergency stock of oil and open all exploration of existing domestic oilfields in order to give Americans a much needed and well deserved financial break from foreign oil. While we’re enjoying this relief, the government needs to do three vital things for the growth and prosperity of our nation.

A) Pull out of the middle-east and let the UN resolve the multi-national situation. We’ve had our fingers in their pie long enough, without any end in sight with regards to fighting. These people want to spend their lives arguing over Islamic fundamentalism and who’s got the most dirt and rocks. I say let them. They’re content on beheading each other and blowing each other up. Why should we continue to act like a referee when these people obviously don’t want to stop fighting?? Let them slug it out until their population is so decimated and meager that they can’t afford to fight anyone. Perhaps unconditional peace and cooperation between them will suddenly insue at that point.

B) Strengthen the protection of our nation’s borders through military reinforcement and maximize the security procedures in areas of transit by which potential enemies would gain access to our population.

C) Lastly, commit to the unconditional development of a dependable, abundant, clean and affordable energy alternative to crude oil… and actively integrate it into all facets of society in order to break our addiction to the genocidal jabbering towel-heads in the middle-east!!!! The sheiks don’t need another platinum-coated Rolls Royce.

Conclusion: Plausible, but unlikely

I’ve done my best at this point. Granted, my opinions and viewpoints may be askewed and biased, but hopefully this has been enough to get your mental juices flowing (if not boiling). If I’ve only done one thing today by writing this, I hope it’s that I’ve done my part as a concerned American citizen by voicing my Constitutionally guaranteed right to freedom of speech.

More later.

Well… as you might guess, it didn’t take long for something else to get on my nerves and qualify itself for a severe and merciless negative critique on my blog. Today’s melee will be targeted at fast food restaurants and their radio commercials. I hereby dub this entry as……

"Chew With Your Mouth Closed"

Many thousands of us have been told by our mothers not to talk when our mouth is full of food. It’s rude, nauseating, unattractive and unsanitary. Nobody wants to hear your saliva and mashed food sloshing and squishing around in your masticating mandibles whilst you attempt to toss out some supposedly important tidbit of information that couldn’t wait for a swallow.

However, certain unnamed fast food chains are using this horrendous practice to try and convey a sense of how delicious or irresistable their food is. The actors are crinkling wrapping paper…rattling cups of drink…and filling their mouths with all manner of wet and squishy food items while they carry on some manner of dialogue about how good the food is and how great the deal is at “restaurant X”.

The only way it could sound any more offensive, is if they somehow began to suck mucus through coffee straws on air. What has advertising come to these days?!? I say the answer is for these people to stop talking while chewing. Advertise your restaurant…plug your hot items…boast about the taste! But stop making us listen to wet, sloppy mouth sounds. If anything, you’re making people want to visit the toilet…rather than your place of business.

My work is done here. More later.

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