Well… as you might guess, it didn’t take long for something else to get on my nerves and qualify itself for a severe and merciless negative critique on my blog. Today’s melee will be targeted at fast food restaurants and their radio commercials. I hereby dub this entry as……

"Chew With Your Mouth Closed"

Many thousands of us have been told by our mothers not to talk when our mouth is full of food. It’s rude, nauseating, unattractive and unsanitary. Nobody wants to hear your saliva and mashed food sloshing and squishing around in your masticating mandibles whilst you attempt to toss out some supposedly important tidbit of information that couldn’t wait for a swallow.

However, certain unnamed fast food chains are using this horrendous practice to try and convey a sense of how delicious or irresistable their food is. The actors are crinkling wrapping paper…rattling cups of drink…and filling their mouths with all manner of wet and squishy food items while they carry on some manner of dialogue about how good the food is and how great the deal is at “restaurant X”.

The only way it could sound any more offensive, is if they somehow began to suck mucus through coffee straws on air. What has advertising come to these days?!? I say the answer is for these people to stop talking while chewing. Advertise your restaurant…plug your hot items…boast about the taste! But stop making us listen to wet, sloppy mouth sounds. If anything, you’re making people want to visit the toilet…rather than your place of business.

My work is done here. More later.