Yes, yes… I know. Many of you think that my prolonged absence and lack of contribution to the blog could only mean one thing…. “He’s finally matured and has gone on to bigger and better things!” Not so! I’m still as childish, unstable, unpredictable and disgruntled as I ever was! So, just put those hopes aside. We’re about to leap into the abyss once more. (Aren’t you glad I’m so consistent?)

Today’s entry is sort of a hodge-podge mish-mosh of different little pet peeves of mine. It will consist of everything from “Previously Owned” to “Pepsi-fication” to “Highway Robbery at the Pump”. So grab a beverage of your choice and sit back, because you're in for a lengthy read.

- Previously Owned -

Oh merciful heavens! How many times have we been presented with this little automotive bubble-gum term? While I will expound on the redundancy of this terminology in a moment… I would be remiss not to also refer you to an already established commentary on the subject. It is provided by Foamy The Squirrel, (just click on "Cell Phones & Car Ads").... and I must warn my readers that it does contain adult language. Be that as it may, I would like to voice my agreement with his major points, thusly…

“Jason…”, you might ask, “…why is it that they don’t just called a used car a used car, anymore?” That’s a very good question, my little followers, and I’ll tell you why. You see, automobile dealerships try to put on a smoke-&-mirrors act in order to establish a comfortable emotional environment. They want to appear to each customer, as if he/she is the dealership’s most valued and important one.

Now, let’s address the history of the term, itself. Some years ago, a marketing research think-tank came up with the revelation that the word “used” might convey a sense of diminished quality. They concluded that the term “used” might cause the customer to see the potential purchase of such a vehicle as unwise. Why? Because it could mistakenly convey an underlying possibility of wear and diminished performance or quality. Therefore, regardless of the redundancy of the newly adopted term, they have established an industry-wide cliché of calling “used” cars “previously owned”.

If you want to get technical about the term “previously owned”, you must realize that every car is previously owned. How? Well, ownership is established by any person or persons who control a legal interest in the property that they hold. What this means is that, initially, the vehicle was owned by the manufacturer. Whoever created the vehicle owns it until they are paid for their labor and materials. After the vehicle is shipped to the dealership, it is given over into the care and protection of the dealership owner.

The dealership attempts to sell the vehicle to customers, but most customers don’t have $20,000-$40,000 burning a hole in their respective pocketbooks. Therefore, they typically arrange a vehicle loan from either a local financial institution (bank, credit union, etc) or they establish a loan through a specialized lending institution that caters to vehicle loans. The ownership of the vehicle now changes hands to the lien holder. Technically, neither of the “owners” thus far have “driven” or “used” the vehicle. They’ve merely transferred ownership of it.

YOU, the giddy consumer, are now the “user” of the vehicle in question. ((Technically, if you trailer the vehicle to your home and push it into the garage, making sure never to drive it, it cannot be called “used”. It’s just been “previously owned” prior to anyone else owning or using it.)) So we now see a definite breakdown in terminology that seems to have somehow been blended into a confusing and inaccurate advertisement gimmick. Now you can see how “previously owned” is a rather redundant term and an obvious condition of any vehicle, and “used” is more precise in its meaning.

- Pepsification -

I know you’re all sitting out there wondering where I came up with this word. No, it’s not in any dictionary or thesaurus. I just created it to more adequately describe the process by which Pepsico, Inc. is trying to monopolize and brainwash the major portion of southern restaurant chains and their patrons. You see, it’s becoming increasingly difficult and frustrating to many of us when we set out for a meal in town these days.

Nearly every place I go has a soda fountain, and most of them are stocked with a selection of Pepsi products. While I’m sure that there are some people residing in Arkansas that enjoy Pepsi products, with myself being a fan of at least one of them (Mt. Dew)… Pepsi Cola tastes somewhat akin to carbonated pancake syrup, in my humble opinion. Coca Cola far exceeds Pepsi Cola as far as taste goes. But, whether you personally prefer Pepsi or Coke isn’t the matter I’m addressing, per se.

I’m more concerned about the disturbing trend with restaurants that seem to cater ONLY to Pepsi products. Why isn’t Coca Cola being more aggressive in their attempt to keep a loyal fanbase happy by making sure that their products are also included at softdrink fountains in restaurants? After all, there is a Coca Cola distribution center in Little Rock, Arkansas for pete’s sake!! That should account for something!!

Not everybody likes Pepsi. I’d go so far as to wager that the percentage isn’t in favor of Pepsi in this area at all. But Pepsi keeps trying to monopolize the distribution in this area. Sponsorship of events… soda fountains… television advertisements… you name it.

Coke seriously needs to get on the ball, in my opinion. They’re letting lots of people become disappointed each time they sit down to a meal at a restaurant. I would think that it could be detrimental to their marketing strategy. But what do I know about marketing….

- Highway Robbery At The Pump -

I don’t think it’s any great news to people that the price of gasoline is hideously overblown to the point of ludicrousy. At what point can an industry justify the yo-yo effect of petroleum pricing, not on a weekly basis…not on a daily basis… but on an HOURLY basis now?? Filling stations are virtually at the point of needing a full time employee that’s hired merely to walk out with a suction pole and plastic numbers to continuously change the price of fuel.

While I’m sure OPEC has a lot to do with setting the price of crude oil, and the major refiners of the oil into usable gasoline add in their costs to this amount, I don’t understand why the price is in a constant and excruciatingly painful state of flux. America’s pocketbooks are screaming for mercy as our vehicles have to not only contend with the distances we drive, but with the task of keeping us cool in the midst of this oppressive heat wave that has swept the nation. We need a damn break… and SOON.

“Well, Mr. Opinionated Redneck, what would be YOUR solution to the crisis?”, you might be inclined to ask. I have a few alternatives…

#1) Citing the fact that we, as a nation, consume the vast majority of all products from oil-exporting nations throughout the world. I submit that we can set the price of any crude oil we buy. By having a monopoly on the percentage of consumption… any decline in our usage would spell disaster for the exporters.

The inherent problem with enacting this financial leverage and thereby establishing a much lower cost per barrel, lies in the fact that our daily demand for oil has become an absolute addiction and a necessary part of our economy. It is so much so, that we can’t even spare the reduced consumption rate enough to apply leverage to the supplier.

Without enough daily crude oil, our nation would grind to a halt. Therein lies our Achilles Heel. We have been blindly ignoring the undeniable need for an alternative abundant energy source for too many years now… and like all procrastinators tend to discover, it costs more in the long run to delay.

Conclusion: Implausible

#2) Tap our existing emergency stock of oil and open all exploration of existing domestic oilfields in order to give Americans a much needed and well deserved financial break from foreign oil. While we’re enjoying this relief, the government needs to do three vital things for the growth and prosperity of our nation.

A) Pull out of the middle-east and let the UN resolve the multi-national situation. We’ve had our fingers in their pie long enough, without any end in sight with regards to fighting. These people want to spend their lives arguing over Islamic fundamentalism and who’s got the most dirt and rocks. I say let them. They’re content on beheading each other and blowing each other up. Why should we continue to act like a referee when these people obviously don’t want to stop fighting?? Let them slug it out until their population is so decimated and meager that they can’t afford to fight anyone. Perhaps unconditional peace and cooperation between them will suddenly insue at that point.

B) Strengthen the protection of our nation’s borders through military reinforcement and maximize the security procedures in areas of transit by which potential enemies would gain access to our population.

C) Lastly, commit to the unconditional development of a dependable, abundant, clean and affordable energy alternative to crude oil… and actively integrate it into all facets of society in order to break our addiction to the genocidal jabbering towel-heads in the middle-east!!!! The sheiks don’t need another platinum-coated Rolls Royce.

Conclusion: Plausible, but unlikely

I’ve done my best at this point. Granted, my opinions and viewpoints may be askewed and biased, but hopefully this has been enough to get your mental juices flowing (if not boiling). If I’ve only done one thing today by writing this, I hope it’s that I’ve done my part as a concerned American citizen by voicing my Constitutionally guaranteed right to freedom of speech.

More later.