Ok folks… it’s time to ponder a question that’s been annoying me for a long time now. Acronyms. Note, that acronyms are not to be confused with abbreviations. Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary defines the word “abbreviation” as follows:

ab·bre·vi·a·tion: n. 1) the act or result of abbreviating : ABRIDGMENT 2) a shortened form of a written word or phrase used in place of the whole

So, an abbreviation is a shortened or truncated version of a larger word it represents. However, an acronym is something of a different color:

ac·ro·nym: n. 1) a word (as NATO, radar, or snafu) formed from the initial letter or letters of each of the successive parts or major parts of a compound term; also : an abbreviation (as FBI) formed from initial letters : INITIALISM

I bring this subject to light due to my observance (and subsequent resulting annoyance) of its continuous and somewhat absurdly grotesque overuse. It seems like everything has its own acronym these days. It’s especially true with regards to commercial advertisements for anything medical. Medical terminology basically consists of nothing BUT acronyms for every disease, treatment, body part, drug and billing procedure involved in the healing of human beings.

What’s wrong with the original word or words? Are they too long to pronounce with any form of dignity by the general populous? Is it an effort to confound the consumer with enigmatic truncations so that they will mindlessly assume that they don’t need to know the words associated with the acronym? Perhaps the medical community figures that by complicating an already dizzying series of Latin words into jumbled up acronyms, they will be more easily remembered?

One that seems to proliferate the television and radio these days is acronymed as “E.D.” ED stands for “erectile dysfunction”. A layman's explanation of this is that: “the ol’ penis ain’t doin what it’s supposed to be doin as well as it used to do it.” As a result, the medical community has capitalized on this wide-spread psychological, medical, or stress-induced state of sexual trouble with a catchy little acronym. It’s most likely a ridiculous and uselessly chivalrous attempt to protect us from some kind of assault upon our delicate moral sensibilities by the avoidance of uttering “erectile dysfunction”. But in an age of Real World, Dukes of Hazzard going Rated-R in the movies, and even so-called “childrens shows” having crudely disguised inuendo humor in them… what could we possibly be offended by in the term “erectile dysfunction”??

For pete’s sake, people… it took nearly 6 months before Rogaine would tell us what the hell they were providing a treatment FOR! Why would we pay money to go and see a damn doctor and inquire whether Rogaine was right for us… if we had no idea if it was a possible treatment for cateracts, bunions, hemmorhoids or baldness?? I assume it was out of pure luck or process of elimination that some poor sap with a receeding hairline finally was told was Rogaine DID…and then he spread the word. Talk about an advertising guffaw. Sure, it got the name out there… but how stupid does a company look when everyone knows the name of its product…and over 3/4 of those people don’t know what it’s used for…then probably only 1/4 of the 3/4 would even benefit from it if they knew? Very odd.

But, back to what I was saying… Acronyms. They’re everywhere. Think about it. USA… MPH… STP… OBGYN… LOL... YIM... MSN... XP... S/M/L/XL... PDA… PDF… PDQ… CST… ED…CAT Scan... AWOL…. DT&L… BLT… AT&T…. SBC…. SLT… DOA… R/T… GT… GTO… GTA… MP… AP…CD/CDR/CDRW…. RAM… ROM… CPU…. MPG… AM/FM... JPG…. GIF…. NBC… CBS…ABC… WTC…. WMDs…. AM/PM… AC/DC… ASAP…. it just goes on and on and on. You can probably think of a dozen that I haven’t mentioned yet. The system smothers you with cryptic acronyms for every damn thing under the sun these days. And why? So they can save money on text? So they can be trendy? Who knows. It just seems rather excessive to me.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe I’m going to fix a BLT and a frosty A&W, then enjoy some R&R by watching some MST3K.

TTFN!!