I’ve decided to throw some more thoughts into the ol’ blog today. Yes, they’re weird…yes, they’re probably littered with unfounded poor judgement…and yes, I’m probably one of the most stubborn and hardheaded people on earth. Your point is?

Today I'm gonna rant about radio. Ah yes, we all love radio. There’s nothing quite like our nationally available series of AM and FM stations, pumping out a limited series of songs that record companies want to impregnate your mind with in order to sell more CD’s of any given genre. But that is made even more delightful by the daily flood of annoying, loud, and sometimes offensive advertisements that come streaming out of the speaker.

If it’s not some idiot trying to sell cars by screaming at you like you’ve suddenly gone deaf and he’s on his 14th cup of Java. Then, it’s some national health foundation or something, telling you to go get your tits squished at the breast exam center, or perhaps illuminating you to the fact that your prostate or colon is out to kill you. Perhaps it’s that lovely time when Candidate A is trying to verbally crap all over the reputation of Candidate B. And the latest trend is a string of so-called “live” telephone calls by morons who ask restaurants to provide ridiculous services to them in order to advertise another one that actually has that gimmick going.

Just this morning, I’ve heard at least 5 commercials advertising the need of individuals, 50 and over, to visit their doctor for a colo-rectal cancer screening…because your ass could be killing you. Keep in mind that the marketing coordinator for this health service obviously enjoys having things shoved up his ass, because he’s targeting a market of listeners with an average age of 26. The station I was listening to is an alternative rock station. Not many retirees I know of are smoking pot, drinking Jägermeister and planning a pilgrimage to Ozzfest ’06. Perhaps he should pay a visit to his doctor and have his head surgically removed from his colon.

Let’s not neglect an analysis of the “screaming car salesman”. Oh, what a delight they are. I know I’m personally thrilled by this bellowing baffoon, blatantly demonstrating his opinion of the buying public by treating them as impressionable, deaf, persuadable gimmick junkies. Now, we all know that in a sea of cookie-cutter car lots, restricted by the manufacturer by how much they must initially charge for a particular car, the lot owners much find an edge. They’re all vying for your attention and business. What a lot of them seem to be confused about, is this. Treating your potential customers like impressionable stooges isn’t the way to go about it.

Next on the list is the babbling “disclaimers” that are typically filled full of enigmatic acronyms and are, more often than not, read off at a speed so fast that it is almost indecipherable. Many times, this is tagged onto a sales pitch by a car lot. Other times, they’ll give you only a portion of the information and tell you to “visit our website for FULL details.”

Necessary as it may be in this day and age, in order to prevent (or at least reduce) the amount of frivolous lawsuits brought on by claims against manufacturers over uncovered loopholes. It’s become more of a state of advertising paranoia than anything. It’s to the point, now, that it seems to me almost laughably absurd. Hot coffee being labeled as hot. Do not place plastic bags over your head. Packets of moisture absorbant material in electronics having to be labeled “do not eat”. What in the hell is wrong with people nowadays?? I've watched Looney Tunes all of my life (and this is quite apparent)... and I've never once hit someone with a rolling pin, frying pan, or huge mallet. I've never jumped off a cliff or been blown up by a keg of TNT.

Why, then, are Saturday morning cartoons no longer Saturday morning cartoons...and when they're shown, they're censored to be "politically correct"?!? People need to wake the hell up, take off their sissy dresses, take responsibility for their kids and their behavior, and stop being offended by every damn thing someone says or does!!! Get a backbone, America!! Your grandparents had one... why can't you??

Well… I’ve rambled enough for today. More annoyances yet to come… stay tuned.